It's Elizabeth Of Course!

Is it too late for this song to be the summer jam?! Okay, next summer then.

My anthropology professor told me last semester that you can usually identify predators because their eyes are oriented forward. He pointed out this information would come in handy if we ever met an alien species. And I was just like, “You are so right, it will come in handy.” I revisit this hopeful idea all the time.

Me: What is with this movie?
Michael: I don't know, but they talk a lot.
the meantime


n. the moment of realization that your quintessential self isn’t going to show up, which forces the role to fall upon the understudy, the humble kid for whom nothing is easy, who has spent years mouthing their lines in the wings before stumbling out into the glare of your life, which by then is already well into its second act.

Is 29 second act time? I feel like the first act might still be going.


FACT: Abraham Lincoln was also president of the friendzone


FACT: Abraham Lincoln was also president of the friendzone

Sometimes you’re sitting at home working on a paper, minding your own business, and you realize just how lonely you are. 

News Flash!

Courtney Love has a YouTube channel. And an Instagram

Brought to you by a random bout of insomnia. 

There’s a million bad things in the world right now, and always. I don’t want to hear about it unless you’re telling be me about how I can help. Proactive or don’t bend my ear.

All the trolling on Facebook makes me miss MySpace.

before there was KANYE #thisreallyhappened
Paparazzi: Tupac, can I get a comment?
Tupac: Thug life. Thug life.
Paparazzi: What?
Tupac: Thug life. That's my comment.
Paparazzi: What's that mean? I don't understand.
I hate it when people take their kids out.


To be fair he clarified by adding, “where they don’t belong.” He’s my favorite X infinity.

When Michael and I are just hanging out in the morning I quiz him on state capitals at his request. State capital moment.

Scared right now.

Michael is having a very minor surgery on his thumb joint as I type this. He’s the undisputed king of silly bone breaks, including one in his hand he got from running backwards up a hill, a toe after he stubbed it too hard and an elbow after slipping on ice. His procedure was scheduled to start at 1:40, but they came in for him ten minutes late (at 1:10), so that means it should have started at 1:50, right? Does that seem like strong logic to you guys? Because I’m panicking a little bit.

I know this is totally irrational, but I’ thinking about it, and he should have entered the OR around 2:00, but now it’s 3:10 and the patient tracking board shows him still in Pre-Op. So at this point he’s been in the pre-op stage for two hours instead of 40 minutes.

I’m freaking out. I have to go politely harass the front desk. 

*Update: Everything went fine! I’m grateful to report the above is just another example of me unnecessarily having a minor meltdown! Yay!!*